Selfish Finfish Suicide

Chaste

2011-07-19T14:14:00.001-07:00

I've just found out my childhood lover is a porn actor.

Burned her so much.

2011-02-25T16:37:00.000-08:00

i loved her, i used her, i kissed her, i could abuse her. she hugged me, would go and bite me, would stare at me, lost eyes, she liked me. i touched her, i felt her too much, we'd hide, move away for a quichie in a rush. so much i love her, oh gosh i love her so much. her smell of sweat, her breath of acid and shit, her laugh so loud, so bitchy, itching on my dick. her hair so messy, so dirty that blonde on my cheek. those hands so naughty, so fucky, won't wanna remember it. oh shit i love her, i love her, i love her so much. and she loves me, she licks me, she sucks me, she thrusts. and tomorrow, tomorrow, won't have her anymore. in fire she'll be, right there, along with my trunk. just because i loved her, i loved her, i loved her too much. and she was lovely, so lovely, so bitchy when she was drunk.

Motherfockers Can Die.

2010-12-11T04:43:00.000-08:00

ima write about her. oh yeah hell, ima tell everyone, ima write about her.
it was a day when birds could fly, children could cry, roses were shy, knots would untie, and motherfuckers could die.
she woke up like everyday, like she was, like every one is, yeah. teeth brushing, face washing, breakfast eating, backpack hanging, door slamming. and they woke up like everyday, like they were, like everyone, like brushing their teeth, washing their faces, eating their breakfasts, hanging their backpacks, slamming their doors.
but then she got there. sardine can bus, like their sardine can bus, step by step, like they did, step by step, then that fucking gate.
entering school, entering future, entering hell. it was names calling face slapping body pushing to the ground falling. it was if you tell em ima beat you fucking up after class.
it was being observed in class, hearing whispering, hearing laughing getting hit by fucking little spat paper balls. it was hearing her name out loud, making jokes, everybody having fun, under her own name, given by her parents through the hand of god.
she was shaking she was fearing she was not understanding. she was wondering why why why, why can birds fly, why can children cry, why can roses be shy, why can knots untie but why can't motherfockers die. why couldn't they just let her live, what the fuck did she have wrong, how the hell in this world can someone be normal, why is everyone normal but me.
this was everyday.
and she'd go home and cry cry cry. she was so young, this phase of her life was so important for her personal and social development but her day-by-day couldn't just normally pass by.
she tried, she tried, she tried, she tried making others understand she was just a regular person, so huge, so complex, so beautiful inside, so inspired, so talented, so gorgeous, so herself. but all of her was made fun of, was beaten up, was spat on. was spat on... was fucking spat on.
this was how she wanted to die.
but she didn't.
she once woke up like everyday, like everyone, teeth brushing, face washing, breakfast eating, backpack hanging, door slamming. she got there, sardine can bus, then step by step, then that fucking gate. entrance to school, entrance to the future, entrance to hell.
her hands were shaking her heart was beating her breath was missing her eyes were crying her proud was growing.
she pulled the fucking gun out her backpack, thank goodness her dad had it loaded and shot the first ranked motherfucker in the head. they screamed and ran around they panicked who the fuck are u gonna make fun of now, and shot the second in the butt, third in the arm didnt kill him but killed the fourth in the freaking chest. bullet here, bullet there, she killed six.
she was grinning but she was crying but she was releaved, those ain't gonna make her live hell now. blood was shed, made her proud.
today, finally, she said to herself "as a bird i can fly, as a child i can cry, as a rose i can be shy, as a knot i can untie, and as motherfuckers, these can die".
then she was sent to correction house.

To My Muse

2010-10-01T16:09:00.000-07:00

I can only write in delirium. Such a state of mind which activates you, my inspiring muse, my breathing, my living, my torture, my gun. A pleasant desperation, a pleasant pain. You're the best of me. You make me. You know who you are.

Around a Gown

2010-09-14T02:32:00.000-07:00

I'm going round and round and round and round and around and around and around and around. I've got a name I ain't a noun ain't a noun ain't a noun ain't a noun ain't a noun. I'm fucking dizzy of this round this round oh this wound that i found that i found that i found that i found. I don't wanna get bouned get bouned get bouned get bouned get bouned. Oh boy, I'm going down going down going down going down giong down going down. I'm getting sick with all this round, this round, this round this round this round. Please leave me alone, don't hang me on that gown that gown that gown that gown, oh no, I'm forced dead, married-burried on the ground.

Puking Phenotype

2010-07-10T02:01:00.000-07:00

You're an open-minded man, showing comprehension, respect and freedom towards me. I'm an open-minded free woman, completing you, so we could be happy together and free open-minded, mutually respecting human beings.
But in the end, your comprehension, respect and freedom towards me is under a veil. You're making my life happening all around you, and it's making me dizzy, making me sick, making me throw my whole personal proud up. I'm puking phenotype. You're killing me.

Made History

2009-06-25T20:01:00.000-07:00

June 25th, at 10 p.m., my local time, jee, I got a fright. Was waiting to cross the road, music loud on the iPod, looked right, stepped forward and felt something touching my left arm. Gently. I looked left. And Oh, boy! A tall, monster looking-like bus leaning on me. Oh, baby. Destiny didn't want me to make history.
Ironically, was going to watch Transformers that night. Right after that sort of Optimus Prime almost ironed me...
Was sitting at the movies. Optimus Prime was dying. And I was told: Michael Jackson died. What a shock. Michael Jackson died... No!!! Optimus Prime can't die!!! Michael Jackson... Optimus Prime almost killed me.
Got home. Looking for news on the Greatest Popstar.
Oh, my word. He died at 10 p.m., my local time.

May your soul R.I.P. But your music will never rest.
-somehow would even be curious if i met u up there, but phew, better not even joke about this.-

2008-07-11T16:43:00.000-07:00

Crown Me with Roses

Crown me with roses,
Crown me really
With roses -
Roses which burn out
On a forehead burning
So soon out!
Crown me with roses
And with fleeting leafage.
That will do.

Fernando Pessoa, June 12th, 1914

Once Upon a Pony Tail

2008-07-07T19:56:00.000-07:00

Call me beauty. Oh, so pretty. Sexy. Mmhh... Outrageous! Loose. No, tied up? Pony? Pony tail? Sensual.
What? You wanna ride? Fine. Just be careful, because I may stick my horn on you. I don't know, it just grew up when I took your pony tail advice. But the horn idea still drove you crazy. Hm... No, i didn't say 'mmhh'! I said 'hm...'. Because you're freaking strange. Stop modelling me so you can love everything on me. Even a fucking horn that got sticked up your... behind?
Shit. Just take this fucking wig and leave me alone. Have fun by yourself. I'm not into anyone that wants me to carry a freaking horn on my head.
By the way, I love your hair. Here's a last hickey.

Man, I suck.

-Ruth

to Ebo, to a non American Cowboy and to You-Know-Who-You-Are.

Electrical

2008-07-06T17:52:00.000-07:00

Sshh. Sssht! Just shut this. Shut this world. This everything. It's me now. Just me, myself, eventhough it's not actually me. It's this sound... I'm nothing, no ears, 'coz they're this, just music. It's anaesthesia. It's body-disolving. It's particles vibrating.
And my body shuts their eyes. In the dark. Deepest night. Darkest dark. Not even black.
So, it takes over. Little by little. Shivering. From the toe nails. All along the spine. To this body's hair ends. Going out. Surrounding it. Touching the skin. Making it shiver. And my body's eyes start to tear. Tears vibrating down that face. Down those chords. It's emotioning. It's crazy. It's electrical. This sound is screaming. Each time more. And the scream distorts, dissipates, goes mad. And yells again, in an hysterical cry. It's orgasmic. Then tired, little by little, slows down, lows down. Until it dies. And that body of mine falls asleep after losing control.
But I'm still nothing. My body is out there, and I'm here, like air, trapped in a mind that belonged to that body. I'm the music. I'm coming from the strings of this electric guitar.

-Ruth

Suicidal Selfish Finfish

2008-07-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

Welcome to this earthly Ocean, consisting of 29% of the whole Earth Planet.
Eventhough 71% of it consists 0f water, some earthly finfish decided to name it after its solid bits. They had an excuse, though, since that time there were no long-course floating nor flying devices to explore around the globe and travelling 600 kilometers from their point of origin would take months, or years, depending on if they would survive or not.
Later on, someone in a Greek place looked up to the sky for the whole nights of days, weeks and years. As they didn't need to move away from their spot, it was easy to survive. And as they decided to dedicate their life staring at the beautiful night sky and had nothing else to do, boredom and routine exercised their brain and they started to understand some stardust language, telling them there was more than a couple of disputing cities around the place. That's where the first round earth theory came from.
Later on, some brave Europeans invented big boats and caravels and found out they floated extremely nicely over the water and decided to go for an adventure. It all started in the coasts of England and France, loaded of saciating rich people, so those Northern Finfish decided to dedicate themselves to coming and going, just to overtake and sacking, so they'd have something nice to burry in desert islands and beaches they'd find on the way.
But the idea of exploring around was good, anyway. So, some remaining European countries along the coast decided to do the same for fun and curiousity, eventhough they feared their caravels would reach the Ocean's borders and fall into the outer space.
It was then until a brave Italian-Portuguese guy heard about the Greek guy's theory and, grabbing his caravel, sailors, stolen slaves and own balls, decided to go all the way around. And he made it.
So, the earth was round. And eventhough the world map wouldn't be possible without the Ocean, they still ramined the Earth Planet name.
So, here's a 29% of trapped earth, covered by beautiful Flora, Fauna and us, a minimum amount of Suicidal Selfish Finfish, only thinking about ourselves, trying to dominate and destroy this wrongly named by us Planet Earth. We live in disrespect, between ourselves and towards whatever forms this round blue place where we were all raised and born in the same way. The place where life came from water (note: life isn't a synonym Finfish, as we think!). But life's reason is still being questioned, whose answer is soon to be known, through the water that is taking over earth, little by little, drowning it's Fauna, Flora and ourselves, Suicidal Selfish Finfish, who woke up these revolting waters.
Water is the answer to all the limits.

- Ruth